Children think simply. Their logic is one of addition – A plus B equal C. They take what they see in the world and try to make sense of it. But children are also very keen observers. They watch intently and often learn things that the adults in their lives were not intending to teach.
I don’t ever remember being taught about race. I don’t know when the language of race entered my vocabulary, or when I first learned about slavery. I don’t know when I learned to attach meanings to the various colors of skin and textures of hair that were present in my everyday life. But I do know that I paid attention, and I did eventually learn these things. My mom is a writer and she developed a habit of jotting down interesting, funny, endearing, and sometimes poignant remarks that I made on a variety of subjects. A good many of these were about “color”. Race was never a big issue in my life, and yet as a (visually recognizable) minority it was never something I had the luxury of being ignorant of either. However, I think that my interest came mostly from other people’s reactions to me. Why did they stare? Why did they ask if I was adopted? Why did they talk to me in Spanish?
A good many years later I realized that everyone has their own stories of childhood experiences with race, and there are many common threads throughout these stories. It’s always amusing the way children can add A and B and get something totally incorrect. And yet stories from our childhood tell us something about what we were learning at the time. They tell us about the things we picked up on without them ever having been told to us, and they tell us something about the way we got to where we are today. What follows is a short collection of such stories.
When I was five I was in an airport bathroom with my mom waiting for a flight. A group of schoolgirls came in – they were traveling from Arkansas to Washington, DC on a class trip. Here is her recollection of the story.
I smile. The girls stare. I say hello. They stare. I chat with their teacher.
They stare.
My daughter is used to being peered at, admiringly. She's used to being complimented on her looks. These stares are not complimentary.
In the hallway, she asks, "Mommy, why were those girls looking at me?"
"Well," I tell her (giving the girls every benefit of the doubt), "maybe they've never seen someone who looks like you."
"What?" She doesn't know what I'm talking about.
"Sweetie," I say, "you may find this hard to believe. But there are places in the United States where almost nobody is black and white like you."
Her eyes widen. Her jaw drops. She says, "Really?"
- Laurika
My dad is an African-American History Professor so I grew up talking a lot about race. One day I saw The Autobiography of Malcolm X on the bookshelf and asked my dad,
“Daddy, why is that man’s last name X?”
“Because Little was his slave name. It was the white man’s last name, so he changed it to X.”
That was the first fact I ever remember learning.
- Phoebe
I had learned about race when I was younger, but it didn't really mean anything to me. I remember being in history class one day - we were learning about slavery - and I remember thinking to myself,
"Wow, it's really terrible to be a black person in the United States." And then a moment later...
"Wait a minute, I'm black!"
That was the first time it really ever meant anything to me.
- Will
My mom told me about a “color” conversation we had once, when I was about 4 years old.
Rika: Mommy, what color are you? Are you mixed like me?
Mom: No, Sweetie, I’m a color people call “white”
Rika: I know, but are you mixed with brown?
Mom: No, I’m not.
Rika: Why not?
Mom: Because you get your color from your mommy and daddy, and my mommy is white and my daddy was white so there was nobody brown for me to be mixed from.
Rika: You could mix with my daddy because you’re always hugging him.
- Laurika
“ Daddy, when I grow up I’m gonna marry a black lady!”
“Why is that, Sam?”
“Because, l’dor va’dor” *
* “l’dor va’dor” is a Jewish expression meaning “from generation to generation”, which refers to the importance of passing down knowledge, customs and tradition. to the next generation.
- Sam
Once when I was young I was walking home from school with a friend. I asked him whether, if I stay in the sun long enough, I would turn completely black? He replied, "No" without a pause, and I was kind of upset. Now I have no idea why I wanted to be dark so badly. Maybe it was because the kids at school saw me as "the black kid", even though I wasn't.
- Kevin
On a phone conversation with a friend, I relayed the following…
“If you’re married and you’re a grown-up, a lot of times you won’t get sick. Except if you have allergies, then you might get sick. A lot of times people have germs and they don’t know they have germs, and if you kiss someone you might give them your germs. If one person is brown and the other person is white, then you won’t get the germs.”
- Laurika
No comments:
Post a Comment